Internet dating the rules

Expecting a Cameron Diaz look-alike, he was shocked to meet a morbidly obese woman in a moo-moo. On the other hand, we’ve dated men who were relieved and delighted that we simply looked like our pictures.

(And believe us, we’re not Cameron.) They were grateful enough to stay through the crème brulée.

It was a crapshoot with lousy odds, considering the amount of time, energy, and effort expended compared with the number of people with whom you came into contact. There are now dating sites for Christians, Catholics, Jews, seniors, single parents, even the "casual" dater, and certainly more to come. Don’t let the anxious thoughts take over your mind. While it was difficult for me, I can say that for each person I meet, I find out something more about myself and what I want.

If you are single and just entering the world of internet dating, here are a few suggestions: Finally, dating sites are not panaceas; they are just another way to connect with other people. Push away all the ‘What if I…’ type questions; Remind yourself of the positives. A first date has the potential for future love and happiness. That, I think, is the most important key for finding someone and for a lot of things in life.

So how do you go about finding that someone special? Remind yourself that it’s only a date; one very short period in your entire life and, if things really do go wrong, the consequences are very minor and short lived, compared to the rest of your life. Make sure not to turn the date into an interrogation. A first date is an artificial and potentially awkward situation for both of you and your date will probably be just as nervous as you are. I have been on and off online dating, speed dating, and other dating clubs, and while I haven't found someone, I still never give.

It used to be that you went to singles events or bars, or you might have been paired up by family, friends, or coworkers. The last time I was on online dating I met someone who I went out with for four months.

DON’T naively assume that his photo is as up-to-date and accurate as yours.

We accepted a date with a guy whose head shot looked perfectly human, even normal. For instance: DON’T get taken in by corny, overused come-on lines like, “Looking to spoil the lady of my dreams with flowers and candlelit dinners.” And beware of perfect strangers who promise to “snuggle with you in front of the fireplace” and “enjoy sunset strolls on the beach.” These guys have one thing on their minds. It’s all too easy to scroll through Internet profiles, selecting the Brad Pitt look-alikes and bypassing the rest.

With heart palpitating, I played his voicemail message. To them I reply, "If you're offended by this old-fashioned custom, then don't be shy about whipping out your wallet instead." In truth, it doesn't matter who forks over the cash as long as someone does it⎯fully. Taking someone out, being taken out...a rendezvous like this is sexy. There's a reason horny manakin birds do a moon dance and hippos spray their lovers with wet feces. Be happy you're not one of those female mites who kills her mother and brother while breeding. Then dare yourself to get though them all before coffee stains become visible in the cup. Be Exactly Who You are, Though This Means You'll Get Rejected After a slew of emails, Chris and I agreed to meet in front of a museum.As many of you know, our first book, The Rules, spawned a worldwide movement.Readers began -- and continue -- to set up free online and offline support groups around the world and visit our website ( at the rate of over 400,000 hits a month.Back then, there were only a handful of dating websites.By 1999 there were more than 2,500 Internet sites devoted to matchmaking. Today, busy professional men and women think nothing of placing an ad and photo online and coming home every night to dozens of e-mails from desirable members of the opposite sex.

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